There aren’t too many options for exercising with a child. Many parents have chosen the gym-with-daycare option (’I know you’ve been in daycare all day while Mommy’s been at work, but this daycare is workout themed and I’ll only be 90 minutes’). Parent-child exercise or yoga classes are available, but provide the same workout they’ve been getting all day or pay for daycare to avoid—following their child around. Others have gone with the jogging stroller, which is a pretty good option. Great outdoors, scenery, sunlight, etc.
Unfortunately, none of these options offer anything for the competitor in us. It’s often hard for parents of young children to participate in sports because it means finding a sitter and more time apart. So I present my solution, a wonderful fusion of a classic international sport with standard yuppie-parent gear. No, not jogging stroller races (though that’s not a bad idea…), stroller soccer!
Stroller soccer is played much like regular soccer, except that contact with the ball is limited to the stroller. It’s a great way for parents to spend time with their kids while getting exercise and releasing stress. It’s also a great way to indoctrinate kids even earlier into competitive sports while teaching them how to taunt, the importance of winning, and arguing calls. Oh, I guess teamwork and being a good sport, too.
Stroller soccer is going to catch on. Just imagine the scene at your local rec center in a few years:
Tom steps up for the kick-in. He whacks the ball with the left front wheel, startling his son, Aiden, awake… and he’s right back to sleep. Janet picks up the pass and dribbles downfield, zig-zagging through the defenders. A quick cut to the right and whoa, her son Ethan almost fell out of the stroller on that one! She passes to Chuck, who’s daughter Isabel is clearly enjoying the smooth ride of her new Strollmaster 6700x. Chuck heads toward to goal while defender Beth, in an act of desperation, launches her stroller, Andrew and all, across the field to try to impede his progress, much like a hockey player throwing his stick to interfere with a breakaway. The grass slows it pretty quickly, however, making it easy for Chuck to expertly avoid the obstacle and swoop in towards the net, where goaltender Dana is trying to quickly finish changing her son’s diaper. Her son’s giving her a hard time, though, and Chuck easily gets the goal.
In hockey, throwing your stick is actually a penalty. Come to think of it, launching your stroller probably should be, too. New stroller soccer rule: two hands on the stroller at all times. Also, babies properly buckled; no sense in taking silly risks, now. Stroller soccer is totally the new playgroup, fun for parents and babies alike.
I wonder if a twin stroller would be an advantage or a disadvantage. Also, imagine how much it would suck to be the child of the goaltender.
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